Marrying George Clooney

does anyone remember when not getting a returned phone call felt so big and horrible and  heartbreaking all at once, when waiting for the phone to ring felt like you were living through a country western song, and not necessarily a good country western song  … when you wouldn’t even go and pee just in case you would miss that phone call, or you wouldn’t leave your apt., or home, or houseboat, you would just sit and watch the phone sitting there in silence, and you would, (or wouldn’t given your level of tolerance & mental health), in fact call the phone company and ask if your phone is broken, or possibly turned off because it’s not ringing. and then you would feel worse when the phone company repair person would say: oh yeah, your phone’s workin’ just fine, what’s a matter, no one’s callin’ you?

and now with facebook, because hello… it is a fucking addiction… i wonder how many of us are actually waiting, waiting waiting for that 1 or 2, or 500th friend confirmation.

and hey, FYI, there is a reason they’re called “depends.”