Marrying George Clooney

i’m wondering if it all began when i got my very own phone at the age 12. it was a pink princess phone, and i had a phone number which i still to this day remember. 769-6016. it’s astonishing to me that i can remember that and there are days that i wonder: hmmmm. did i take my cholesterol pills? but i’m guessing one never ever forgets their first time, regardless of what it is. whether it’s a guy, or girl, or pet, or a forged report card. you just don’t forget some things.
i think it was most definitely back then that i began this addiction to phones and anything and everything that kept me somewhat at arms length. much easier to be curled up on my bed, or in a chair talking my ear off to a friend, then being face to face.
so here we are a hundred and ten years later, and i find that i am facing the same dilemma now with facebook. i am addicted. i am experiencing separation anxiety when i have to leave my computer. it’s sick, fucked-up, i know, but i also know a ton of people in the same boat. we’re all on the same cruise, eating bad food, vomiting, playing shuffle board, dancing to the big band, and sitting on deck chairs asking each other: why oh why are we doing something we don’t really want to be doing, and not very good at it? so i wonder — out-loud — is it to be in touch, stay connected, be curled up on a bed or couch and feel like yes, we have a ton of friends, and by god none of us has to leave our house, or for that matter cabins?
it is agoraphobia or is it googlephobia?