Marrying George Clooney

okay…
this is what’s on my mind today.
THE ACADEMY AWARDS.

i know, i know, i know…kathryn bigelow. amazing. truly. i mean not only is she a great director, she is gorgeous, funny, talented, smart, witty, brilliant, sexy and can pack a punch.
wow.
how frickin’ cool is that?
and i don’t want to go on and on and on about how amazing it is that she directed a film that for all intents and purposes is a guy, male driven film. no doubt about it.
so…
whatdya think the movie would’ve looked like had a man directed it?
well, for starters i think the title would’ve changed: “oh no no we can’t call it the hurt locker that sounds like a cheap shoe store in a fuckin’ mall, how about we call it, STRAIGHT TO HELL, or B IS FOR BOMB… or i got it, i got it…BLOW UP.”
and then of course there would be a sexy brit in there somewhere – maybe a bar scene, or maybe in the hummer… but there would be hot steamy “oh my god i miss my girlfriend back home so bad i can’t stand it one more day” kinda sex.
and i’m pretty sure joe pesci would be in the movie.
and the scene at home, back home, when he’s in the supermarket, indecisive … this cereal, that cereal…i’m pretty sure had a man directed that scene, the guy would have such a meltdown in that aisle – in that cereal aisle — that the entire supermarket would end up being under siege, and men in hazmat suits would be surrounding the shoprite, and the last scene, the very last scene… would be the husband and wife in therapy.

but then again, it takes a woman to cut through much of the bullshit.